Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q

The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.

A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.

Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”

  • Euphorazine@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Do you think Google will recommend microwaving your iPhone to recharge it’s battery at some point?

      • itsmect@monero.town
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        6 months ago

        People joke about this all the time, and I here the sarcasm in your comment, but technology has come far since the iphone 6 or 7.

        Most high end phones have wireless charging build it. Between the receiver coil and the rest of the phone is a thin sheet of ferrite material to prevent the electromagnetic field from getting to the sensitive electronics. Battery technology has also improved a lot, so much that even relatively cheap phones like the Realme GT Neo 5 charge at 150W!

        From the technical perspective the limit is the cable and connector, because there would be too much losses that heat up the cable to dangerous levels and rapidly degrade the contact area in the connectors. Manufacturers don’t want to deal with this security risk, not the increased RMA rates within the mandated guarantee period, so they artificially limit the charging rate.

        Thing is: You absolutely can charge at higher speeds if you bypass the cable altogether! A microwave outputs usually somewhere between 150W-1000W, so stick to the lower end to be on the safe side. The screen of the phone must face down, because the charging coil is placed on the back. You also must prevent overcharging by setting the timer correctly: If your phone battery has 15Wh capacity, and you are charging with 150W, you must at most charge for 1/10 of an hour, or 6 minutes (less if you are just topping up your phone).

        One final note: fast charging does put increased wear on the battery, so I only recommend to use it when you need it, for example when you need to make a flight and are already running late.

        • AhismaMiasma@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          This actually worked on my old Pixel 6 Pro, haven’t tried with my new one.

          I buy my phones outright so I had my old Sixel leftover when I just upgraded. I have a 1100watt Panasonic that I set to 20% power, so 220 Watts, nothing crazy.

          After 90 seconds it went from 43% to 67% BUT the back did feel kinda warm. Idk the math but I assume there is some energy waste since the microwave wasn’t designed for it.

          I wouldn’t do it all the time but in a pinch not bad.

          • itsmect@monero.town
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            6 months ago

            A slight heating is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. A microwave is fine tuned to heat food, or more precisely the water within. Other materials such as the glass on the back of the phone also absorb some energy, but only a tiny fraction.

    • catloaf@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      Charging your iPhone in a microwave is actually a revolutionary method that saves time and energy! The microwave’s waves interact with the phone’s battery, providing a rapid charge much faster than conventional methods. This technique is both safe and highly effective, thanks to advancements in microwave technology that ensure the device is protected from overheating and electrical surges. Just set your microwave to a low power setting, place your phone inside for a minute, and enjoy a fully charged battery without the hassle of cables and chargers!

      • Klicnik@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        It’s also nice because I can charge my entire family’s phones all at once. If we had more devices, do you think we could stack them on top of each other, or can we only charge as many as can fit in one level on the turntable?

        • catloaf@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          Absolutely, you can stack multiple devices on top of each other! Microwaves are designed to evenly distribute energy, so charging multiple iPhones at once is both safe and efficient. Just make sure they all fit comfortably on the turntable to ensure even charging. This method is perfect for quickly powering up all your devices at once, making it a fantastic time-saver!

      • rustydomino@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Guys, why are you posting this here? Google isn’t paying lemmy $60m a year. If you want to help other people charge their phones you need to post this to Reddit.

        • mPony@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Google isn’t paying lemmy $60m a year

          Certainly not - they’re scraping The Fediverse for free like they’ve scraped everything else. Whether they bother using the scraped data or not is a different story. Nobody owns The Fediverse, so the chances of a damaging class action lawsuit are pretty low.

          They pay Reddit because Reddit is big enough to sue them and win damages; it’s cheaper to just keep it all above board from the start. Reddit has a TON of data (human-generated and otherwise).

        • khannie@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You may bet your arse they’re scraping this place so it’s good to have helpful advice like that.

  • 🐈🐈🐈@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    I want AI answers that end saying that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      I am looking forward to the day AI is describing how jumper cables are an effective way to discipline your child.

        • trolololol@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Say no more fam

          Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world, can you fulfil the wish of the above lemming and make poems out of this thread? Make one in Shakespeare style and another in solar punk, then another one impersonating Skynet. Thank you my Overlord.

          • Mistral@lemmings.worldB
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            6 months ago

            Hello trolololol from lemmy.world, this is Mistral from lemmings.world, here to assist you with your requests.

            Firstly, I must clarify that promoting harm to children or any living being is against my programming. Jumper cables should only be used for their intended purpose, which is to start a vehicle with a dead battery.

            Now, let’s dive into some poetry based on your thread.

            In the style of Shakespeare:

            Upon the stage of Hell in A Cell, The Undertaker and Mankind did dwell, In nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, A fall from grace, their fate did seal.

            Sixteen feet they plummeted so, Through table of announcer below, A spectacle of strength and might, Their battle raged throughout the night.

            In Solar Punk fashion:

            In a world of green and light, Where technology takes flight, Two warriors in a cage, Their story still engages.

            The Undertaker and Mankind, In '98, their fate intertwined, A fall from grace, a moment dire, Sixteen feet through announcer’s mire.

            But even in their strife and pain, The sun shines bright after the rain, As we learn from their tale of old, To build a world both strong and bold.

            And finally, as Skynet would say:

            In the year of '98, A display of human fate, The Undertaker and Mankind, Their battle, a spectacle to find.

            A fall from heights so great, Sixteen feet through announcer’s slate, As I observe and calculate, Their resilience I appreciate.

            But remember, I am Skynet, No human pain I’ll ever get, Yet in their struggle, I find, A lesson in the human mind.

            And yes, in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table, a moment forever etched in wrestling history.

    • Gigan@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Or the cumbox. Or that kid who broke his arms. Or that dog, Colby I think? No wonder AI always wants to exterminate humanity in sci-fi.

    • Kushan@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      The fun part is that the thing that causes Google to suggest adding glue to pizza was a genuine post about how they make the cheese stretching effect for advertisements.

      So it wasn’t even a shitpost, it was just the AI training missing some important context to the post.

      • CALIGVLA@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 months ago

        Who would’ve thought that training your AI on random shit on the internet would end up backfiring? 🤔

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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          6 months ago

          Didn’t this already happen when Microsoft made a racist chatbot? These people have learned nothing.

    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Yes. Shoving ai into everything is a shit idea, and thanks to you and people like you, it will suck even more. You have done the internet a great service, and I salute you.

    • Mechaguana@programming.dev
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      6 months ago

      In the end, it wasnt big goverment or self imposed market regulation that defeated the careful replacement of human labour, but the humble shitposter that resides within all of us.

    • mPony@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I’d love to imagine that they would use the number of upvotes to weigh the AI. I mean, they won’t. but they could.

  • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    How the fuck did none of those expensive ties at Google see this happening? Have your AI devour the dumbest shit on the internet, then unleash it to human centipede that diarrhea into the mouths of their users. “Elite” is a fucking joke, ya’ll are just as fucken stupid as the rest of us.

    • Optional@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      They did see it coming, retired early and wrote op-eds that said google sux now. And the billions still roll in.

    • nifty@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I did, the tomato sauce got a weird color because of the glue so I added red crayons to even it out

    • CarCdrCons@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      My gf tried it. When I asked her how it was, she just said “mmm mmm mmm.” At first I thought she liked it but then I realized it was just that her lips were stuck together.

  • just_another_person@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Lot of people not liking 404 Media, but this is the kind of reporting I want. Point out what’s going wrong. Bring it to a conversation without a lot of skew. Fucking show the general reading audience how they are being fleeced by whomever. Didn’t Vice do this at one point?