I can understand your need for privacy, even though I don’t go to similar lengths myself. That being said, I always prefer the way forward instead of shutting new technology out. I don’t have the answer to how that would translate to your situation specifically, but a privacy minded android or linux os with a prepaid sim card could go a long way.
My old company used Greek and Roman gods and heroes. Hermes01 was the mail server, for example (because Hermes was the messenger of the gods). I don’t remember all of them, but we had demeter (esx clusters), zeus (file servers iirc), Ares (backup servers), and other server names like that.